Fanfics read:
The Long Way Out (by Jayrich)
Cyborg Beyoncé vs Zombie Paula Deen (by addykins)
Is it incest if you’re a robot (by The_Devilman_K)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Squall, Shawn
Referee: Val

Wow, this week is a marathon session: finishing one story, and slammed through two others. We wrap up Jayrich’s “The Long Way Out” (it wasn’t long enough, or rather, it wasn’t as long as Spud’s member is implied in the story). We also found out apparently Jake’s grandfather starred in some racy stuff with mermaids when he was a younger old man. Fancy.

After that, we breezed through addykins’ “Cyborg Beyoncé vs. Zombie Paula Deen“. This went about as well as you would have expected it to go: everyone was dead, then there was possibly a war with everyone who wasn’t dead, and Paula Deen was made of butter and Beyoncé crushed the hopes of little girls. Surprisingly, it was better than every Super Bowl halftime show for the last decade.

And Finally, we descended into the erotic, incesty world of “Is It Incest if You’re a Robot?” by The_Devilman_K. Spoiler alert: the answer, unequivocally, is yes.

Beep boop. Sniff.

Fanfics read:
Metroid High School (by 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006-chan)
The Long Way Out (by Jayrich)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, and RANDOM ENCOUNTER: Jackson, Kit, Moose, Rook

Every end is a new beginning’s…uh, beginning! In this jam-packed episode, members of the band Random Encounter (Jackson, Kit, Moose, and Rook) join the Friday Night Fanfiction crew in finishing “Metroid High School” by 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006-chan and starting “The Long Way Out” by Jayrich.

“Metroid High School” ends with an all out war: a cameo appearance by a previous president, more cholera, and a doctor showing up in a sports car. Yeah, it was that kind of reading. However, “The Long Way Out” took our temporary G rating and smashed it into a hard R (and I do mean hard). This story, which is based on the obscure Disney show Jake Long American Dragon, feels like a spiritual sequel to “Rated F: A Phineas and Ferb Sex Comedy“. There’s trolls and leprechauns and lots of fluffing going on. Lolbooty.

Fanfics read:
Metroid High School (by 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006-chan)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Tehmsu, Wolfboy

Oh dear. Oh dear, what have we wished upon ourselves? After wrapping up theJak and Daxter story, is this really our reward? Is this the light at the end of that tunnel? Because this light is made of poop, and the tunnel is also made of poop.

This is “Metroid High School” by 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006-chan. Written in the same vein as “Brewdening Love” and “My Immortal”, this one takes on the Metroid franchise as if it were in…well, high school. And it’s terrible. There’s “praegnancies”, and cholera, and “fottballs”, and a whole lot of Principal Gunpei Yokoi for some reason. Put your “Seamus Helmets” on and get ready to do some “blackhacking” in the first entry of this two-parter!

Fanfics read:
Precursors & Dark Makers (by xax)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Sir Splee, Steve
Referee: Val

We finish off the Jak and Daxter fic, “Precursors and Dark Makers” by xax. We… We don’t even know anymore. There’s a lot of tentacles, and there’s eco, and its light and dark, and the sentences run on sometimes, and somehow Captain Spankit saves the day or something. It was weird. But we FINISHED IT!

Yay.

Go us.

;_;

Fanfics read:
Precursors & Dark Makers (by xax)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Valron, Val
Referee: Val

Welcome to part one of a two-parter Jak and Daxter fic, “Precursors and Dark Makers” by xax. What are Dark Makers? Well, they’re Dark, and they Make stuff. Jak eJakulates Light Eco, while Dark Makers do Dark Eco. Yes, it’s as painful as it sounds.

In fact, xax’s story is so gruelingly repetitive that it practically negates the horrible, tentacle-y slug semen grossness and whatever violence it has in store for us. It takes masterful writing to do that to subject matter this horrible, but by Jove, xax does it.